Frustrated in Fairford | 21-04-03
Frustrated
in Fairford
As protestors
gathered at RAF Fairford in Gloucestershire, England, Heidi Bachram
reflected on her
previous visits to this air force base where US B-52
bombers used in the Iraq offensive are stationed.
I used to visit RAF Fairford when I was a teenager. My aunt married a US Air Forceman and he was stationed there for a while. I was always welcomed at the gates and freely given a pass to wander around at will, even though the gate guard could never spell my name or where I came from. 'Milton Kings' was all he could ever manage which felt more like a Canadian ice-hockey team than my newly-acquired home town. I learned how to play ten-pin bowling at that base. Using US dollars in the UK never really seemed to make sense and gave the base an air of 'Never-Neverland' an eternal place where kids play and actions have no consequences.
My Air Force uncle works in munitions. One night at a rowdy Air Force party, he drunkenly told me about some of his friends who worked in nuclear munitions and how their hair and teeth were falling out. Although most of what my uncle says has to be taken with a hefty pinch of salt (he told me once that he witnessed aliens landing and bodies being taken away!), he seemed too sad to be joking.
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Now, years after my teenage adventures on US-leased Air Force bases around the United Kingdom - I was back. But this time I was not welcome. Intimidating armor-clad policemen lurking in bushes with vicious dogs, more hot and bothered riot cops than us protestors and constant filming by intelligence gatherers were all signs that my days of guest passes were over. Now I was the 'enemy' one of many millions of people in the UK and across the world who object to this war.
Now my world has been thrown into a chaos of confusing loyalties. It seems bitterly ironic to me that some of my happiest times were spent on Air Force bases and now some of my deepest frustrations and bitterness are because of them. I find myself forced into the position where I have to choose between the well-being of strangers and my own family. Not only my uncle, but my cousin is also now in the US Air Force. I haven't been able to talk to either of them about it but I heard through the family grapevine that they are both in training and therefore not going to war - to their frustration! My sweet, cuddly, beautiful cousin is chomping at the bit to kill people. My fun-loving wonderful loyal uncle is dying to get out there, just as he was in the first Gulf War. It seems we are all frustrated in this - just for completely opposing reasons.
I think this is what many people are feeling - a confusion of loyalties and the resulting frustration that stems from that. There is the knowledge that things are happening in your name that you are sickened by, and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it. Every avenue of democratic action has been tried and all have failed to stop this war. People have taken to the streets in their millions and governments haven't budged. Warmongers continue to talk of 'defending freedom and democracy' as the bombs fall on Baghdad and innocents die. Ironically, it is the countries where those bombs came from where democracy is under direct attack from their own governments. It seems the war machine is unstoppable.
Yet people did go to RAF Fairford in their thousands, most out of a need to do something, anything to stop this war. Some came with a mind to put those US B-52 bombers stationed there out of action. Unfortunately, the security was extremely tight, with massive police presence shipped-in from as far away as Manchester, and we were confined to a small symbolic presence at the entrance to the base. My passes from days gone by suddenly seem like an even more precious commodity now. But those days are over. Childhood innocence and relationships with family members have been the first casualties in my Gulf War II. No doubt there will be many more.
For more NI Special Reports and coverage of the war visit our No War page.
See also GWI update published 21-01-03
See also GWI original piece published 10-12-02
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